Just don't know what to say

There really is nothing to update.  Shelby has to stay in the PICU until she gets her "new" liver and then she'll be here for a while afterwards recovering.  That's it.  That is exactly what is going on in "our" (as in Shelby and me) world.  The rest of Shelby's class/friends are enjoying being 4th graders, running around, hating/liking homework.  Shelby isn't getting a chance to do that.  She hasn't now since November 23rd.  I leave everyday for an hour or two to go to Kohl's House and get cleaned up.  I know that's good for me....BUT, I feel horribly guilty that I get to leave the hospital, go outside, and she doesn't.  She wants to go outside.  She wants to be smuggled back to 6 West.  One of the nurses from there came to visit her and she tried very hard to bribe her to take her back.  Overall, Shelby is handling this very well.  She really is.  Her bad moments are just that, moments.  I miss being a Mommy to 3 all the time.  So far, Riley and Avery are holding up well, but I'm sure my Mom is very exhausted.  Scott graduates in 35 days.  Will we be able to see that?  Who knows?  This is so frustrating.  Putting our life on hold is old.  I'm ready to move on.  Have Shelby back at home, in her room again, picking out her puppy, sporting her "new" liver scar, running with her sisters.  Ready.   Ready.  Ready.