Thursday, November 20, 2008

I should be asleep, but..

I just can't get myself to go lay in bed. Its 2 a.m. I just finished up on some work for ASAP, but I keep thinking of all the things my little booger has been through in the past 8 weeks and the test(s) she will be having Friday. By no means is she the first kid to have an endoscopy and colonoscopy, but she's my first kid to have to go through the latter of the tests....

Alright so that didn't last long sitting in the office. I was cold. Now I'm all snuggled in bed with my trusty laptop. So, if I do fall asleep and this post just seems to trail off into nowhere, you'll understand why. I have been known to fall asleep with my hands still on the keyboard.

Back to my worries...I hope all this worry is for nothing. But, the what-if's are still there. Today Shelby had a big canker sore/blister (I really don't know) just inside her lip. She claims she didn't bump her lip or bite herself. Not so unusual, but she also has developed a lump on the side of her nose. Again, she does not recall bumping her nose. Related? Who knows with this girl! I hope they're both gone in the morning and I can laugh at myself over this silliness. On the other hand I think "Gosh if they're still there, we should get it checked out because 'normal' never seems to be 'normal' with Shelby. So how am I going to fit in getting her to the Pediatrician's (with no vehicle in the morning - Scott has a dentist appointment and then goes to RVC to take his math test) before I have to start pouring Magnesium Citrate in her and she starts pooping up a storm? Oh yeah, and the crabby 19-month-old with a I-don't-feel-good-so-no-one-can-feel-good-cold gets to tag along." Now I have to stop myself. There are much bigger problems and worries than this. I just have to have faith that things will work out. I need to remind myself that my child is home with her family. My child was able to sneak in one more video tonight, taking advantage of snoozing parents. My child who's big focus now is being as kind as she can. My child. My daughter. We are so lucky that she has done this well in her fight against liver disease. I just want her to feel better. I'm glad Dr. D is doing these tests, but I don't want him to find anything bad. Its better to rule things out than let a sleeping dragon lie in someone like Shelby, but...the possibilities it brings to my brain!

Was anyone else sickened by the headline about Tony Romo paying for a homeless man's movie ticket? I mean, that was nice and all, but we should strive to do good things for others just because we are supposed to. Just because its right. I'm not blaming Tony Romo. I'm blaming the media. So what if he did that? Are you going to put me in the headlines just because I do something nice? O.k., now I've forgotten where this whole post was going. I'm sure Scott (who is snoring next to me - yes, he can sleep in bed again now 11 weeks post-op) is very grateful that I'm pouring out my worries here. I sometimes have woke him up to discuss something I think is very important and earth-shattering only to have him be pissed off that its the wee hours of the morning. Thank you blog readers, if there are any of you out there, for reading my ramblings. I know Someone hears me.


Carolyn Michelle said...

I'm worring for you don't have to bother worring anymore. I'll do it all for you. :) I get out of school at 11:30 tomorrow, so if you need anything call me. I'm more than willing to help.
I'm praying for you guys! Stay strong.

Anonymous said...

Jenn- We are thinking of all of you and praying for you and sweet Shelby. Hang in there....and take it one day @ a time... we miss you.

Matthew 6:34

Oh and one more thing....a fav of mine...."Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God!"
Take care !!!!!!